August 20


Dear diary,


My 40th year of being a seal. It’s going to be fun, we called a comedian to come. It’s going to be good as well.


He arrived. He seems like a funny guy. He will be doing some comedy.


My favourite joke was so you go to the shops to buy stuff, you get a jacket then you go to the self-checkout and the credit card says “sorry you already have a jacket.” Then you come back with nuclear weaponry, then the card says “you can get nuclear weaponry as long as you share it with your sister”, so you put it back.

August 6


I opened my door to be greeted with a couch. I went over and sat on it, I grabbed a cushion and put it behind me. I reached for the remote. *ding dong*. Hey honey I forgot to tell you scarlet… “the annoying” I mumbled under my breath, is coming here. I opened the door to see her holding her violin, this could only end badly. She sat down and started “playing” music, spoiler it sounded like a dying horse. So I went outside to water the plants. I thought this day could not get any worse… it did.